Lady Killer (Confessions of a Chick Magnet Book 5) Read online

  Table of Contents

  What people are saying about Jenny Gardiner's books:

  Lady Killer

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Thank you!

  Chapter One

  (Untitled)

  Chapter Two

  All books by Jenny Gardiner:

  About Jenny

  What people are saying about Jenny Gardiner's books:

  Red Hot Romeo

  “Awesome". So enjoyed the romantic chemistry between the two characters. Read it non stop into the wee hours. Highly recommend this book

  -- Mrs. K

  Blue-Blooded Romeo

  "Another brilliant, fun read from Jenny Gardiner. The book is fun to read and I thoroughly enjoyed every word. Jenny Gardiner has put the fun back into romance books and I look forward to each book in this delightful series.”

  -- Anne Blyth

  “I had planned on only reading a few chapters at first but couldn't put it down. A terrific storyline, well-developed and extremely relatable characters, what's not to love?? Great read!”

  -- Samantha Reeves

  Big O Romeo

  “I could not put this book down. Warning don't start this book late at night as you will not want to stop reading.

  -- Di

  Sleeping with Ward Cleaver

  "A fun, sassy read! A cross between Erma Bombeck and Candace Bushnell, reading Jenny Gardiner is like sinking your teeth into a chocolate cupcake…you just want more."

  --Meg Cabot, NY Times bestselling author of Princess Diaries, Queen of Babble and more

  Slim to None

  "Jenny Gardiner has done it again--this fun, fast-paced book is a great summer read."

  --Sarah Pekkanen, NY Times bestselling author of The Opposite of Me

  Lady Killer

  (Book Five of the Confessions of a Chick Magnet series)

  by Jenny Gardiner

  Copyright © 2019 by Jenny Gardiner

  Cover art by Kim Killion, The Killion Group, Inc.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  All characters in this book are fiction and figments of the author’s imagination. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

  http://jennygardiner.net/

  Chapter One

  COCO Lovingston was sorely tempted to bring home the adorable pink teacup pig with the black spots that some cruel person had left in the mailbox at the Second Chances Animal Rescue Clinic where she worked. Her landlord would kill her though, not to mention her apartment neighbors, especially if the little porker turned out to be a squealer. She’d retrieved the pig with the day’s mail and hadn’t set the animal down for the past hour, instead cuddling and kissing that sweet baby pig face.

  As much as she adored animals, her living situation didn’t lend itself to taking on a pet. A short time ago, she’d moved back to Bristol, Montana from LA following a disillusioning stint trying to break into acting jobs there. Although she hated slinking home with her tail between her legs, if she were honest with herself, she was happy to be back. She’d spent more years than she’d liked in a too-large city dealing with downright predatory industry types who demanded sexual quid pro quos for jobs. Enough was enough.

  If one more rotten man told he she had to give him a blow job to land a pitiful little commercial spot as the “girl with herpes virus” or “girl with joint pain” in a pharmaceutical ad, her head was going to explode. She was damned if she was going to advance her career on her knees. Hell, if she was going to have a career that entailed spending a lot of time bent over, it would be to hug sweet, homeless dogs and cats that people brought into the clinic, thank you.

  One condition of her return home, though, was that she would not encamp in her parents’ ranch outside of town. It would’ve been too much of a step backward to live at her folks’ place as though she were still back in high school. After being out of the house all these years, she knew her mom and dad enjoyed their empty-nest freedom and besides, she didn’t want to deal with them monitoring her every move. Instead, she’d taken a small apartment in town above Vertical Drop, the ski shop on Main Street, and enjoyed walking most everywhere she needed to go. Her best friend from high school, Emma Hamilton, had recently moved back to Bristol, which meant she now had a burgeoning social life. Things were looking up. Now if only she could find a home for this adorable little piglet.

  “You planning to do anything other than cuddle that chunk of bacon?” Tippy O’Brien, a tiny sixty-something woman with shoulder-length frizzy gray hair and bright blue eyes, said with a grin.

  “Hush,” she said, covering the pig’s ears. “Little Oink here will get scared.”

  “I hate to tell you, Coco, but Oink’s not going to be long for this place—we don’t have the room for a pig right now. We’re already at capacity.” She frowned.

  Coco held the pig up right in front of the director’s face. “Look at this little snout,” she said, making kissy noises as she held the pig’s face between her hands. “How could you ever dream of getting rid of this sweet little nugget?”

  “Believe me, I’d bring in ten of them if I could, but we’re not set up for pigs to begin with, and she’s going to take up the space that several dogs could occupy.” She looked at her watch and tapped the face. “Clock’s ticking on Oink’s time here, Coco. I’m terribly sorry about that.”

  Coco thrust out her lower lip in a pout. “Give me a day or two and I’ll see if I can find a good home for her.”

  Tippy nodded. “We’ll do what we can, but please, make her adoption your priority.”

  “Here—hold my pig.” Coco passed the pig to her boss, then pulled her long, newly blond hair back into a ponytail. Now that she was back in the area, she’d changed the color of her hair and had it professionally straightened to go along with her new-old life in Bristol. She gave her a wink, her green eyes sparkling, and grabbed the little pig back. “I think I’ll be able to do that, no problem.”

  ~*~

  By early afternoon, Coco had fielded six “no’s” and about four “are you crazy’s”, not to mention “Mommy said I can’t” from one little girl. She could barely suppress her failure-to-adopt dismay when in walked a tall, brown-haired man with striking aqua-blue eyes that reminded her of the water at Grinnell Lake in nearby Glacier National Park.

  As he approached, Coco was seated at the counter mindlessly braiding the front strands of her hair. She jumped up, her hair falling into her face, and threw on a baseball cap to hide the mess as she greeted him. If only she’d put on makeup and made half an effort to look good. Instead, she’d taken a long run and showed up to work sweaty, looking as if she’d rolled out of bed. So much for making a decent impression on the first good-looking man to step foot into the clinic since she started working there.

  “Welcome to Second Chances,” she said, ushering him into the lobby. “If you have any questions, I’m happy to help. Are you he
re to adopt a pet?”

  He nodded. “I’m looking for a kitten for my mom’s birthday,” he said.

  “Oh, fun. Kittens are the best. Has your mom kept a cat before?”

  He shook his head. “Actually, no. My father passed away last year and he would never let her have a cat and she always wanted one.”

  “So sorry about your dad.” She frowned. “I bet your mom could use the companionship.”

  “To be honest, my father was a bit of a tyrant with her—he was an old-school dominant male. Surprisingly, Mom’s had a bit of a renaissance since he died. She’s got a kick in her step and she’s been happier than I’ve seen her in years.”

  “Wow,” Coco said. “I don’t know if that is sad or joyful. I guess the latter.”

  “Not gonna lie. I’m pretty jazzed to see her so much happier,” he said. “I mean, I respected my dad. He was a hardworking rancher. But he wasn’t a warm, fuzzy kinda guy. He had a hot temper and short fuse and my brother and I learned long ago it was best to avoid him altogether.” He frowned. “We both got out of town as soon as we could and never looked back. Poor Mom didn’t have that choice.”

  “But you’re back now?”

  “I’ve been telecommuting since I came back to help my mother settle Dad’s affairs and sell off the ranch and all of the assets. It was too hard to do that long-distance. Plus, I’d been living in LA for a while but was tired of the traffic and the whole scene. It’s been okay being back in the area. I grew up in Grundy, about an hour away from here. After selling the ranch, I helped my mom get settled in a retirement community outside of town here. There’smuch more for her to do in Bristol than in dinky little Grundy. There’s barely a traffic light in the town.”

  “Well, I’m a new returnee as well, so it’s nice to see someone else who got stuck returning home unexpectedly.” She rolled her eyes.

  “What’re you in for?”

  She laughed. “Right? Like a prison sentence but not really. I’m glad to be back. Grew up here. I, too, was in LA for a while and it turned out it wasn’t for me. Happy working with animals of the four-legged variety versus the type of predatory animals I dealt with in the entertainment industry.”

  “Can I apologize on behalf of the asshole men who did that?”

  “Nice of you to offer but not yours to apologize for them.” She smiled. “So, before I take you back to the kittens, I have an idea,” she said, holding up a finger. Although this felt a bit dishonest because, well, the guy was getting his mama a kitten after all, why not save the life of a cute little black-spotted pink piglet? She led him over to the makeshift pen they’d set up in the kennel area for Oink. “This here’s our newest addition to the clinic,” she said, scooping up the tiny pig and kissing her right on the snout. “I call her Oink. Someone left her in the mailbox if you can believe it. I like to say she was a special delivery for the day.”

  He knit his brow. “Someone dropped a pig in the mailbox?”

  She nodded. “People suck sometimes. But now she’s here and I’ve got to find a home for her before she goes on the chopping block.”

  His eyes grew wide. “Seriously?”

  Coco dragged her fingers across her throat, sticking out her tongue. “Can’t even say she’d be destined to become bacon cause she’s too little.”

  “Well, that’s heartbreaking.” He frowned. “Except I’m here to get a kitten.”

  “Did you ever think that a cat might be a bad idea? After all, cats live a long time. You mom might be too old to care for her eventually. We had a cat that lived to be twenty-four years old!”

  He scratched his chin. “Huh… My mom would be into her eighties by then.”

  “And this cute little piglet would be the perfect alternative to a cat. Just think, no dander to stir up allergies. Have you ever been around cat fur?” She scratched at her skin dramatically.

  “It’s true. Cat fur makes me itch like crazy. But it’s for her, not me—I figured cats are low-maintenance. Don’t you just get a litter box and be done with it with a cat?”

  “You can train this little porker with a litter box as easily as a cat. And look at this little face.” She hoisted the piglet up to his eye level. “Plus, if you need anyone to help watch Oink, I’ll be happy to pitch in every now and then.”

  “A pet pig seems crazy. But my immune system would be happier.”

  “I hear it’s the worst, the itchy eyes, scratchy skin.”

  “And I get so stuffed up that it’s hard to breathe.”

  “I never heard of anyone being allergic to one of these little babies.”

  He pursed his lips. “I’m not sure. I mean, a pig?”

  “Tell you what—if you have any issues, I’ll take her back. But I’m pretty sure you’ll adore her. Besides, look at this baby.” The piglet batted her eyelashes at him as if on cue.

  He heaved a sigh. “Oh, hell, why not. Mom’s already turned over a new leaf and gone for the unconventional. A pig would totally fit her new life philosophy.”

  She scratched her number on a sheet of paper and handed it to him. “Call me if Oink gives you any problems.”

  ~*~

  Coco decided she deserved a hike after the successful rehoming of the piglet. She was overjoyed—at least the poor baby wouldn’t be put down for lack of an appropriate caregiver.

  As she closed up the shop, she called her friend Emma, who worked as an accountant in the next town over.

  “Dude. Hike. Now.”

  “Awww, wish I could,” her friend said. “I’ve got to stay late to finish up a few things, so no can do.”

  “What fun are you? All work and no play makes Emma—”

  “Makes Emma an accountant.”

  “Good point,” Coco said. “Although I’m proud of you for having a real job unlike some of us who can’t count past our ten fingers and are instead relegated to changing cat litter boxes by the dozens and giving dogs flea baths.”

  “But you’re nourishing your soul, so there’s that. Tell you what—meet you for drinks on the rooftop at Harry’s after your hike, say, nine o’clock?”

  “That would be perfect. I need to be around humans and beer, badly. Plus, I can tell you all about the new home I found for the cute piglet, so mission accomplished for the day.”

  “That pig you texted me the picture of? You already found a home for him?”

  “Yes, to this super cute guy who came in today.”

  “Huh. I never pictured the forever home for a piglet to be with a hot guy.”

  “Like only ugly guys take in pigs?”

  “I dunno. I mean what would a young dude want with a pig?”

  “Chick magnet?”

  “News flash: pigs are not puppies.”

  “Oink’s the next best thing.”

  “You are super weird, you know that? But in all seriousness, does the guy know it’s not going to stay tiny?”

  “What do you mean? It’s a teacup pig.”

  Her friend laughed. “That doesn’t mean it remains the size of a teacup. They grow up to be pigs.”

  “No kidding? Like big pigs?”

  “I read something online one time that people buy them cause they’re tiny and cute only to discover they don’t stay that size and then they unload them.”

  “On adoption clinics.”

  “Yup.”

  “Oh shit. Like how big is big?”

  “I think like three hundred pounds.”

  “No! That can’t be.”

  “Google it if you don’t believe me.”

  “Crap. I need to tell this guy before he gives it to his mother and she falls in love with it. But if I don’t get out hiking now, I’ll lose daylight. I’ll call him first thing in the morning and let him know he needs to bring it back to me.” She switched her phone to her left hand as she scrubbed her right one over her face. “I feel awful.”

  “Definitely let him know! Before they get attached to the thing.”

  “Fine. I’m on it. Meantime, see you
at Harry’s. If I’m not there by nine, send out the rescue squad because it’ll mean the grizzlies got me.”

  “Nothing to joke about, Coco.”

  “Oh, please. I’ve been hiking in these woods for most of my life. Has a bear killed me yet?”

  “There’s always a first.”

  “Order me a beer—not a bear—and I’ll see you at nine.”

  “Where are you going to be hiking?”

  “I dunno. Might go up near the ski resort. Or I might head over to the trailhead for Iceberg Lake. Gonna pick some berries and enjoy them while watching the sunset.”

  “Have fun! Be safe. Bring your bear spray!”

  ~*~

  Coco laced up her hiking boots and hit the trail hoping to be up and back before dark. Luckily at this time of year, night fell pretty late. She’d have plenty of time. After she parked at the trailhead, she tossed her phone onto the driver’s seat—no need to have that along since there was no cell service anyhow. She took a swig of her water bottle, then stuck it onto the side pocket of her pants. That’s all she was bringing along—she didn’t want to lug anything extra because she was hoping to collect huckleberries along the trails and didn’t want to carry anything that might crush the delicate fruit if it banged up against the berry bag. And it was a warm enough day to dispense with her sweatshirt as well. She did attach her bear spray to her waistband, though, because, well, bears.

  Maybe a mile past the Iceberg Lake trailhead she encountered an older gentleman sitting on a rock who could not stop coughing.

  “Have you got some water?”

  He held up his hand and shook his head, but continued coughing as if choking.

  “Here,” she said, holding out her water bottle. “I won’t be walking long and won’t need this—why don’t you take it?”

  He reached for her water and guzzled it down in a flash, then stood up and gave her a big bear hug.

  “Thank you so much—I’d been enjoying the bounty of my berry-picking until one got stuck in my gullet.” He pointed to his throat. “I thought I was going to choke to death.” He offered the remainder of the water back to her.